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January 27, 2005

this is a titleless entry. i am writing as if i am another person. i would like to see how it feels. here goes.

There is a feeling inside that grows so strong i cannot control it. I am living in a life whereby i am not happy. Everyday i put on fake pretences everyday i see a new day. A day to be free, to be careless, to be mindless, would be a gift precious to the mind but never able to touch.

I am hiding secrets so deep sometimes i slip into oblivion. I break tradition. Somtimes i feel so deep but pitless. My sadness can’t be measured by the cups of waters that sit in front of me. I forget what are my intentions. But i know that i would be happier when my can of worms has been opened up and sprawled all over the table.

Today was another day. How do you brew lies so strong it does not follow up? How do you keep up with pretences; and still remember what is real. I marvel at this feat each and everyday. I do not know who i’m talkin about also.

I sip the water as i nurse a bad sore throat. Why does always happen to me? I wonder.

I have so much passion inside of me. But something surpresses it. My intuitions are pressed by a thumb. I cannot speak whats inside my heart. I cannot breathe out the air i breathe in. Sometimes its just the words that don’t come easy. But how does it come easy when u know words will hurt the one’s around you.

I rest my case today. I will out down my pen, and close my lids. Dusk will soon arise. I will meet the day with new vigil and vigour.

Ok its done.. what a weird thing to do huh.. but i thought it would be interesting. Hope i get positive comments…….. he he…
Anyways i’ve been reading this really cool book called Cloud Atlas.. And i must say i have never been so excited about book in a long time. The book weaves together characters so strong it makes me wanna read it more.

Anyways i am done.. see ya’ll soon.. 🙂

ming.

the velvet rope

January 23, 2005

we all have a special need… this is from janet’s velvet rope album.. its really good..

anyways.. people have been kinda moody these days around me…

i am kinda moody too..

is it because the releasing of the o results are drawing near..

then again u can’t expect much..

life plays out in ways indescribable..

this is when my negativity shows in vibrant colours..

i am thinkin to myself…

why is this that andy why is that this…

work’s ok..

i am speakin like a washing machine..

all jumble up going in circles..

i keep hitting the backspace button

mistakes are being to many atimes…

no one’s perfect..

its as simple as that..

i am writing in sentences…

wanna speak… speak straight from the heart..

but can’t do so..

then i come to a tragic endin here..

farewell so long..

a little too dramatic here……….

wow.. what a misleading title.. haha.. anyways what i meant was i can finally see all my previous postings.. i had no choice but to settle for a plain blogskin first.. i DO NOT KNOW what i did to my previous blogskin, it wiped out my entire posts… but do not worry do not fret i am in the process of upgrading my blog.. hope i dun screw it up again..

Anyways.. my first post for the new year 2005!!! After so long… new year greetings are already wearing off.. but upcoming is the chinese new year (an exasperated joy). I don’t know but i ain’t in the mood to celebrate the chinese new year.. its becoming an event where we meet up with old relatives say hi put on huge masks of pretences.. collect all the money pretend to be happy and go our different ways.. thats my chinese new year.. i mean whats the point of celebrating the new year with the same old same old things.. except maybe this year we are celebrating it; minus one of our family member my sis she is goin to aussie.. so lucky of her.. getta leave is wretched country.

the irony is when we are away from home we realise we love it so much. but when we are on home ground we curse and swear kick and push to get out of it. thats irony! thats human nature……….

hows are all my frens???!!!!!! haha.. crazy ming here… hows zuzz…… jess…. and those nosey parkers scanning thru words i type…. wait wait… u can’t reply.. my tagboard it up yet…. i gotta go get it all set up be patient… patience is a virtue slowly unfolding your calm soul…

byeszzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………………….. zuzz… who ever gave u the idea of leaving ur house without undies??????!!!! 🙂