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it seems that we all are falling…
i’ve been missing out on alot..
my writing my reading and the seeing of my dear jess…
i want to get back all of those but at the same time i wanna work…
so i’ll work and try my best to juggle all of those..
i want to continue reading the waves its a good book that i’ve read half way…
then i haven’t been visiting my book of thoughts…
my words has not been flowing freely.. thats why i am stuck.

its good to sometimes think that life is not always a bed of roses… in these weird juxtapositions… where do u stand?? haha.. i am blabbering again.. [please give me a chance to do it] i have not been doin it in a long time… yes.. i got my vanessa carlton today.. i like my recent cd purchases… i really like LAMB.. [this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!] i am singing to myself.. have i really gone crazy.. i think i have…

i’ll try my best to attempt to go back to writing electronically………. here goes…

the bright screen shines brightly
the music emits itself from a radio
the melodies and words are one that i like.

in’s and out’s
early morning wakings
fast paced wanted
not a slackened state of mind
a heart of steel-wielded stone
please make sure it is in check.
one will need those
i gladly show that i have it.

denial a fact that is incomprehensible.
to her and to me.
sometimes its hard to read
a book where the printings are miniscule
pass me a book with colours
fantasies so bright it hurts my eye.

a wish
to spit out a confession
but will i get confessional pride?

lines of words were tapped
on this bright screen.
for all to read and marvel
to be scornful and judgemental
but let them be!
society now requires
that a person receive
voyueristic rights.
they are happy
they are proud
that they are being watched.
how do i know they are?
i am one of them.
so i smile a grin…..

there i have chosen to go back to writing on the computer.. i am not sure what to name this poem but i always dun name my poems anyways… its a bit hard to understand what i am typing there.. its just all the jumbled up thoughts inside my head..
oh yea i haven’t told zuzz about my this blog.. gonna tell him but i keep forgettin.. i will tell now.. and if u are reading this i am sorry i did not tell ya earlier…

“in denial: friend… or foe?” haha i got from sex and the city.. crazy i am i know.. haha.. but i can’t help it…. its a great show… i can’t stop myself from not watchin it.. its not a show entirely about sex i assure u.. its also about friendship and the hassles of leavin in NYC.. there’s also carivale.. also a very good show……..

i wonder why is there no streets have no name on harmonium when the stickers say there is.. can someone please explain it to me? zuzz…

ok i’ll end myself on this note.. sorry is there are typograhical errors.. to lazy to spellcheck this post…

ming………………..

the virus has been cleansed

at last.. i am all cured and feelin much better.. thanks jessie dear for being so concerned towards me.. i’m all cured now… we should meet up someday k…

i am so lazy to type anything la.. must be the post recovery laziness… haha..

k la.. will type more when the time comes…

its not nice..

its not nice…
to fall ill….. the feeling is so horrible. its a feeling where by u know u are deprieved of sleep but still wanna go out with your friends. and when u are out u feel so shitty……

This morning while doing the Johannesburg flight i felt a little bit unwell.. i felt my throat becoming coarse and a cough was developing. to add fuel to fire, i was caught in the rain while trying to find my bus to board and when i alightin at my bus stop. i think i was caught in the rain for nearly 5mins… then i got sick at around 12pm.. damn.

maybe its also work thats causing all this. irregular meal times, irregular sleeping patterns.. but i like my job period. can’t wait to get my first pay….. hahaha..

Evil laughters has escaped into the midnight air. it captures someone and never lets them go. when i try to gasp for air all i received was toxic air of the modern century. sometimes i am tired i am weary. two almost similar words but with huge difference. so then i say goodnight and farewell…

tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow i go to work and maybe the day after i will see her… yea………… nights now…

can’t see my tagboard damn

i can’t see my tagboard!!! damn.. stupid.. anyways been workin lately thats why i haven’t been blogging..

i am glad jess dear is all alright.. just sad that i can’t be there for her cos of my work.. but i’m glad that she has michelle and all.. it puts my heart at ease just to know that she is alright..

ok.. think this would be a short post. i am so tired even to type..

see u around some other time..

my premiere post…..

hello all… finally.. i can make my first post… my first and official post.. thanks jessie dear for helpin me spice my blog up for i won’t be able to type what i’m typing now cos it would be so dull to do so.. a HUGE THANK U once again…

ok.. i really do not know what i should blog here.. its always the case.. i would think up thoughts but when it comes to blogging all my thoughts seem to have slipped through my brains.. hai.. this is not my first blog.. i had a blog here before but it got cut off cos it was inactive like for so long. then i got another blog at myspace which not many know of cept zuzz… its a relatively low keyed blog.. and i’ve always wanted a blog of my own but just do not know how to spice it up.. somemore everyone seems to have one. and i guess its a way to keep each other updated and see the ongoings of each others lives… so with this blog i’ll go all out……………………. but at the same time i’ll still update my myspace blog…

there is so many things in life that we can’t comprehend. i sit here and type this on an empty stomach. all jumbled and twisted is something, how can u untwist and “unjumble” it? time is a drag sometimes. milk and honey so intoxicating. should try it one day. its from sarah mclachlan’s song by the way. its called into the fire from her solace album. i just got bonnie mckee’s cd. its so damn fooooookin good. i really like so so so so much. rambling again. thoughts all jumbled up.

been workin though. at ze airport… very fun i must say. so stoopid of me to count my time wrongly. would the soul forget to die……….. in the end i was late to open my gate to board passengers (i’m a customers services agent by the way). then my officer at the gate was kinda understanding cos i told i her just started and she was like don’t do it again. something i won’t. once bitten twice shy.

hahahahaha.. its good to laugh sometimes. laughter makes u forget ur troubles for a moment. capture laughter and think back on it.

January is just around the corner…….
playin bonnie’s cd now.. so i’m singing as i type this.. hahahahaha..

ok then.. think i have posted enough…
bye…
first class fool signin off here….

morbidity

ok… woke up so early today.. no reason whatsoever just wasn’t able to sleep once my eyes were open. am so worried for my jess. was kinda feelin helpless cos i could not do anything.. called her twice could see that she needed help but just did not know how to help. this all happened yesterday. hope she’s feeling better now.

We all sometimes feel that the whole world is against us. When every door is closed and every window shut, what can one do? Nothing to turn to nothing to run to. Do i thus try and dodge the bullet that is hurtling towards me? that would be suicide my dear boy. To stand tall against the rain and smile as it comes a-pouring down would be brave. Till it stops; till it shines everything would be clear in the end.

Its all so one sided sometimes, things i mean. You want so much yet at the end u get nothing. I thus like to drown myself in music and writing. But lately i haven’t been writing much partly due to time constraint and no inspiration days. Everyone has a way of dealin with their lives. And this is how i deal with my sordid life.

I met up with jess yesterday. I have missed her so much the past few days due to work and all.. So seeing her was the icing to the cake for my week. We had lunch together and just talked away as the rain fell like sheets of curtains. It was nice just talkin to her and exchanging stories. I like times that are spent this way.

Sometimes we are afraid of silence. But why are we afraid of silence? Its like that song from Alanis Morisette. All I Really Want. She sings this line that goes “Why Are U so Petrified of Silence?”. I like comfortable silence. I do not like uncomfortable silence. Sometimes i need intellectual intercourse as Alanis would say it. I know when there is comfortable silence and where there is not. Just sittin next to each other and basking in the silence of it all is beautiful. Picture it.

Gonna go to work later. And i actually am liking my work. Seriously, i think it is very interestin. But its just only the begining. I will soon get sick of it, though i hope not.

Anyways i’ll stop the “word vomit” now. Hahahaha…

Ming

just got a new blog

well… since everyone has it.. and i can’t freakin restore my old blog.. this is my new blog.. cool huh… whatever.. anyways.. this is just a testin post.. hope it comes out.